The name Jones comes to me through my father’s family. My Jamaican ancestry brings a particular complexity to how I process and inhabit the world. My father was part of the Windrush generation, arriving in England with his parents as a child during the 1960s. My research into that lineage has raised difficult questions about possible connections to slave-owning histories. I do not yet hold every answer, but I no longer want to treat the name as culturally neutral simply because it is familiar—and, in some social circles, even prestigious.

I was caring for children, responding to colleagues and families, becoming tired, feeling overstimulated, making assumptions, being triggered and occasionally getting things wrong. I was also reflecting, repairing, adapting and learning alongside everyone else.

These observations emerged from participation rather than detachment. I write as a Black British woman whose adult working life has largely unfolded within Flemish institutions, families and communities. I entered the crèche carrying my own upbringing, cultural references, professional formation, expectations, sensitivities and blind spots, just as the practices I encountered had been shaped by the histories and circumstances of the people around me.

A reflection on how childhood experiences can become parenting principles and professional strengths. Through an intergenerational conversation, it asks whether children can truly negotiate when safety, protection and power are not equally present.

An exploration of what lies beneath an adult’s response to children’s conflict. By following the sentence beyond “I feel…” and into “because…”, we begin to uncover the needs, fears, memories and assumptions shaping what we do next.

Beginning with a conflict over a bicycle in the crèche garden, this piece examines what toddlers are actually learning when adults ask them to share, wait and play fairly. It explores how boundaries, disappointment, agency and repair develop through calm adult accompaniment.

You might begin by bringing to mind a recent interaction that unsettled you. It does not need to be the most difficult encounter you have experienced. A small moment—one that left some tension, uncertainty or unfinished feeling behind—may offer enough ground for reflection.

There is no need to move through the following questions quickly or answer all of them. Notice which question creates an opening and which one you feel tempted to avoid.